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Solve Your Problem with Iman

 

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WHY PROBLEM SOLVING SKILLS ARE IMPORTANT???

Kerana kita semua perlu membuat keputusan. Sama ada anda seorang pelajar, ibu bapa, ahli perniagaan, atau presiden Amerika Syarikat, anda menghadapi masalah setiap hari yang perlu menyelesaikan. Mungkin anda cuba untuk menyelamatkan syarikat anda, menyimpan kerja anda, atau menamatkan krisis kewangan dunia.

Mungkin anda hanya perlu makan lebih baik atau mencari lebih banyak masa untuk dihabiskan bersama keluarga.Sama ada anda adalah isu besar atau kecil, kita semua menetapkan matlamat untuk diri kita sendiri, menghadapi cabaran, dan berusaha untuk mengatasinya. Tetapi apa yang anda mungkin tidak tahu ialah terdapat cara mudah untuk konsisten tiba pada penyelesaian yang berkesan dan memuaskan.

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Cara Islam Menyelesaikan Permasalahan Hidup

1. Meneliti dan memahami Fiqh Da’wah Rasulullah s.a.w

Untuk mengetahui cara Islam menyelesaikan permasalahan hidup manusia, seseorang perlu kembali meneliti dan memahami Fiqh Da’wah Rasulullah SAW. Yakni da’wah yang dibimbing oleh wahyu Allah SWT, al-Quran al-Karim. Di waktu yang sama seseorang perlulah melihat realiti masyarakat sewaktu Rasulullah SAW. diutuskan dari segi politik, ekonomi dan sosial kerana dalam bidang-bidang inilah sering timbul masalah-masalah yang dihadapi oleh sesuatu masyarakat, bangsa atau negara.

Ketika mana Muhammad Rasulullah SAW diutuskan, negeri Arab seperti Syam dan Yaman yang subur dan kaya dengan hasil mahsul dikuasai oleh Romawi dan Parsi. Tinggallah Hijaz, Tihamah dan Najd yang kering kontang, dilitupi padang pasir dan dimiliki secara bebas oleh orang-orang Arab yang berpuak dan berqabilah.

Islam Bermula Dengan Usul, Tidak Dengan Furu’

2. Mulakan dengan perkara asas

Islam tidak memulakan da’wah dengan mengenegahkan permasalahan furu’ tetapi memulakannya dengan perkara usul (perkara  asas  atau dasar).

Islam di peringkat awal, di zaman Rasulullah SAW, tidak meminta manusia agar bangun berjihad di medan peperangan, berpuasa, berzakat, meninggalkan arak, menjauhkan judi dan sebagainya. Tetapi Islam  di peringkat awal meminta dan menuntut supaya beriman kepada Allah SWT semata-mata. Tegasnya Islam bermula dengan ‘aqidah, tidak bermula dengan taklif atau kewajipan. Aqidahlah yang menjadi asas dalam perlaksanaan taklif (kewajipan). Islam bermula dengan batin , hati dan fikiran manusia sebelum sesuatu yang lain. Dari titik tolak aqidah yang bertempat di hati akan berlakulah perubahan dan pembangunan yang hakiki, yakni pembangunan insan di tengah-tengah alam kebendaan.

Apabila perkara dasar ini menguasai hati dan fikiran mereka yang dibentuk oleh Rasulullah SAW, lahirlah keperibadian ummah yang berorientasikan iman. Keperibadian itu  menjadi kenyataan.  Mereka iltizam dan intizam kepada titah perintah Allah SWT dan Rasulullah SAW dalam berbagai aktiviti hidup pada setiap masa tanpa berhajatkan pengawasan luar.

Segala sesuatu yang terdahulu menjadi masalah dalam kehidupan mereka dapat diatasi dan diselesaikan dengan senang.

Lihatlah bagaimana Rasulullah SAW menyelesaikan permasalahan arak melalui tiga potong ayat al-Quran al-Karim. Firman Allah SWT:

“Mereka bertanyakan engkau (Muhammad) mengenai arak dan judi. Katakanlah bahawa kedua-duanya dosa besar dan ada manfaat-manfaat kepada manusia, dosa kedua-duanya lebih besar daripada manfaatnya.” 
– Surah al-Baqarah: ayat 219

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NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION~PART 1

Bagaimana untuk memahami komunikasi bukan lisan?

Komunikasi interpersonal berlaku melalui dua cara iaitu lisan dan bukan lisan. Pada kali ini kita akan fokuskan kepada komunikasi bukan lisan atau non-verbal communication.komunikasi bukan lisan boleh difahami dengan mesej atau info yang disampaikan okeh manusia bukan haiwan atau respon yang diberikan bukan daripada lisan atau percakapan kita dan juga bukan melalui tulisan atau mudah difahami kita menulis surat untuk menyampaikan sesuatu kepada  seseorangMostly, orang yang berada disekeliling kita akan  banyak menerima mesej yang disampaikan melalui non-verbal berbanding verbal. Ini disebabkan oleh non-verbal communication merangkumi  65% mesej yang akan disampaikan berbanding verbal-communication iaitu 35%. Maka, tidak mustahil terjadinya salah faham maklumat atau lebih dikenali dengan miscommunication kerana pemberi dan penerima mesej silap dalam menilai atau menganalisis mesej tersebut.

Types of non-verbal communication :-

It consist of –   

1. body language (kinesics)

2.  clothing (physical appearance)

3.  voice (paralanguage)

4.  space and distance (proxemics and environmental factors)

5.  colours (meaning and associations)

6.  time (chronemics)

7.  touch (haptics)

They also have other types, but here I am focusing specifically on this types only. The rest of it, you can find it in another sources. 

What is it??

1.      Body language (kinesics)

–          Kinesics is the non-verbal behavior related to movements. Kinesics is a study of body movement or body language which includes facial expressions ( eyebrow, forehead, eyes, and mouth), postures and gestures.

–          Facial expressions like smile, sad look, eye contact, etc. These expression are the most frequently used aspect of body language.

–          Sometimes our face may communicate with multiple emotions which is called affect blends. E.g. surprise and angry look of a person who just found out of the bad news.

–          Postures include positions of the head, shoulder, and body, e.g. the way we sit down and place our hand on the table, etc.

–          Gestures include the movements of the head, arms, legs, hands and feet, e.g. how we wave our hands or move our head to indicate something, etc.

–          In a simple word, postures is position of our body while gestures is movements of our body.

  • There is a guideline to how you interpret the body language.
  1. Eyes – Eyes tend to look right when the brain is imagining or creating, and left when the brain is recalling or remembering. This relates to right and left sides of the brain – in this context broadly the parts of the brain handling creativity/feelings (right) and facts/memory (left).

 Left and right are for the person giving the signals and making the movements.

signal

part of body

possible meaning(s)

looking right (generally)

eyes

creating, fabricating, guessing, lying, storytelling

looking left (generally)

eyes

recalling, remembering, retrieving ‘facts’

looking right and up

eyes

visual imagining, fabrication, lying

looking right sideways

eyes

imagining sounds

looking right and down

eyes

accessing feelings

looking left and up

eyes

recalling images truthfulness

looking left sideways

eyes

recalling or remembering sounds

looking left down

eyes

self-talking, rationalizing

direct eye contact (when speaking)

eyes

honesty – or faked honesty

direct eye contact (when listening)

eyes

attentiveness, interest, attraction

widening eyes

eyes

interest, appeal, invitation

rubbing eye or eyes

eyes

disbelief, upset, or tiredness

eye shrug

eyes

Frustration

pupils dilated (enlarged)

eyes

attraction, desire

blinking frequently

eyes

excitement, pressure

blinking infrequently

eyes

Various

eyebrow raising (eyebrow ‘flash’)

eyes

greeting, recognition, acknowledgement

winking

eyes

friendly acknowledgement, complicity (e.g., sharing a secret or joke)

 2. Mouth – The mouth also has more visible moving parts than other sensory organs, so there’s a lot more potential for variety of signalling.

signal

part of body

possible meaning(s)

pasted smile

mouth

faked smile

tight-lipped smile

mouth

secrecy or withheld feelings

twisted smile

mouth

mixed feelings or sarcasm

dropped-jaw smile

mouth

faked smile

smile – head tilted, looking up

mouth

playfulness, teasing, coy 

bottom lip jutting out

mouth

Upset

laughter

mouth

Relaxation

forced laughter

mouth

nervousness, cooperation

biting lip

mouth

Tension

teeth grinding

mouth

tension, suppression

chewing gum

mouth

tension, suppression

smoking

mouth

self-comforting 

thumb-sucking

mouth

self-comforting

chewing pen or pencil

mouth

self-comforting

pursing lips

mouth

thoughtfulness, or upset

tongue poke

mouth / tongue

disapproval, rejection

hand clampedover mouth

mouth / hands

suppression, holding back, shock

nail biting

mouth / hands

frustration, suppression

 3. Head – The head is very significant in body language. A person’s head, due to a very flexible neck structure, can turn, jut forward, withdraw, tilt sideways, forwards, backwards. The head usually has hair, ears, eyes, nose, and a face, which has more complex and visible muscular effects than any other area of the body.The face, our eyes and our hands, are the most powerful parts of our body in sending body language signals.

signal

part of body

possible meaning(s)

head nodding

head

Agreement

slow head nodding

head

attentive listening

fast head nodding

head

hurry up, impatience

head held up

head

neutrality, alertness 

head held high

head

superiority, fearlessness, arrogance

head tilted to one side

head

non-threatening, submissive, thoughtfulness

head forward, upright

head / body

interest, positive reaction

head tilted downward

head

criticism, admonishment

head shaking

head

Disagreement

pronounced head shaking

head

strong disagreement

head down (in response to a speaker or proposition)

head

negative, disinterested

head down (while performing an activity)

head

defeat, tiredness

chin up

head

pride, defiance, confidence

active listening

head / face

attention, interest, attraction

 4. Arms – Arms are quite reliable indicators of mood and feeling, especially when interpreted with other body language. This provides a good opportunity to illustrate how signals combine to enable  safer analysis.

–          For example:

  • crossed arms = possibly defensive         
  • crossed arms + crossed legs = probably defensive
  • crossed arms + crossed legs + frowning + clenched fists = definitely defensive, and   probably hostile too.

signal

part of body

possible meaning(s)

crossed arms (folded arms)

arms

defensiveness, reluctance

crossed arms with clenched fists

arms

hostile defensiveness

gripping own upper arms

arms

Insecurity

one arm across body clasping other arm by side (female)

arms

Nervousness

arms held behind body with hands clasped

arms

confidence, authority

handbag held in front of body(female)

arms

Nervousness

holding papers across chest(mainly male)

arms

Nervousness

adjusting cuff, watchstrap, tie, etc., using an arm across the body

arms

Nervousness

arms/hands covering genital region (male)

arms / hands

Nervousness

holding a drink in front of body with both hands

arms / hands

Nervousness

seated, holding drink on one side with hand from other side

arms / hands

Nervousness

touching or scratching shoulder using arm across body

arms / shoulder

Nervousness

5. Hands – Body language involving hands is extensive. This is because hands are such     expressive parts of the body, and because hands interact with other parts of the body.

signal

part of body

possible meaning(s)

palm(s) up or open

hands

submissive, truthful, honesty, appealing

palm(s) up, fingers pointing up

hands

defensive, instruction to stop

palm(s) down

hands

authority, strength, dominance

palm up and moving up and down as if weighing

hands

striving for or seeking an answer

hand(s) on heart (left side of chest)

hands

seeking to be believed

finger pointing (at a person)

hands

aggression, threat, emphasis

finger point and wink

hands/ eyes

acknowledgement or confirmation

finger pointing (in the air)

hands

Emphasis

finger wagging (side to side)

hands

warning, refusal

finger wagging (up and down)

hands

admonishment, emphasis

hand chop

hands

emphasis – especially the last word on a matter

clenched fist(s)

hands

resistance, aggression, determination

finger tips and thumbs touching each other on opposite hands (‘steepling’)

hands

thoughtfulness, looking for or explaining connections or engagement

steepled fingers pointing forward

hands

thoughtfulness and barrier

palms down moving up and down, fingers spread

hands

seeking or asking for calm, loss of control of a group or situation

cracking knuckles

hands

comforting habit, attention-seeking

interwoven clenched fingers

hands

frustration, negativity, anxiousness

index finger and thumb touching at tips

hands

satisfaction, ‘OK’

thumb(s) up

hands

positive approval, agreement, all well

thumbs down

hands

disapproval, failure

thumb(s) clenched inside fist(s)

hands

self-comforting, frustration, insecurity

hand held horizontally and rocked from side to side

hands

undecided, in the balance

rubbing hands together

hands

anticipation, relish

hand(s) clamped over mouth

hands / mouth

suppression, shock

touching nose, while speaking

hands / nose

lying or exaggeration

scratching nose, while speaking

hands / nose

lying or exaggeration

pinching or rubbing nose, while listening

hands / nose

thoughtfulness, suppressing comment

picking nose

hands / nose

day-dreaming, inattentive, socially disconnected, stress

pinching bridge of nose

hands / nose

negative evaluation

hands clamped on ears

hands / ears

rejection of or resistance to something

ear tugging

hands / ears

indecision, self-comforting

hands clasping head

hands / head

Calamity

hand stroking chin

hands / chin

Thoughtfulness

hand supporting chin or side of face

hands / chin, face

evaluation, tiredness or boredom

chin resting on thumb, index finger pointing up against face

hands / chin

Evaluation

neck scratching

hands / neck

doubt, disbelief

hand clasping wrist

hands / wrist

Frustration

running hands through hair

hair / hair

flirting, or vexation, exasperation

hand(s) on hip(s)

hands / arms

confidence, readiness, availability

hands in pockets

hands / arms

disinterest, boredom

removing spectacles

hands / spectacles

alerting wish to speak

playing an imaginary violin

hands / arms

mock sympathy or sadness

thumb and fingers formed into a tube and rocked side to side or up and down (mainly male)

hands

offensive – mockery, dissatisfaction, expression of inferior quality

two-fingered V-sign, palm inward (mainly male)

hands / fingers

offensive – derision, contempt

two-fingered V-sign, palm outward

hands fingers

victory, peace

6. Legs and feet – Legs and feet body language is more difficult to control consciously or fake than some body language of arms and hands and face. Legs and feet can therefore provide good clues to feelings and moods, if you know the signs.

signal

part of body

possible meaning(s)

leg direction, sitting – general

legs/knees

interest, attentiveness (according to direction)

uncrossed legs, sitting – general

legs

Openness

parallel legs together, sitting(mainly female)

legs

Properness

crossed legs, sitting – general

legs

caution, disinterest

crossing legs, sitting – specific change

legs

interest or disinterest in direction of upper crossed knee

American or figure-4 leg cross

legs

independent, stubborn

American or figure-4 leg cross with hand clamp

legs / arm / hand

resistant, stubborn

open legs, sitting (mainly male)

legs

arrogance, combative, sexual posturing 

ankle lock, sitting

legs

Defensiveness

splayed legs, standing

legs

aggression, ready for action

standing ‘at attention’

legs / body

Respectful

legs intertwined, sitting (female)

legs

insecurity or sexual posing

legs crossed, standing (scissor stance)

legs

insecurity or submission or engagement

knee buckle, standing

legs / knees

under pressure

feet or foot direction or pointing

feet

foot direction indicates direction of interest

foot forward, standing

feet

directed towards dominant group member

shoe-play(female)

feet

relaxation, flirting, sexual

 

to be continued….

Happy learning! 🙂


NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION~PART 2.

Types of non-verbal communication.

1.     Clothing (physical appearance)

–          we combine items of clothing and the appropriateness of certain types of styles of dress to specific situation.

–          Funeral – people wear black or dark coloured clothes as a symbol or mourning ~ avoid colour clashes.

–          The clothes we wear make a statement about ourselves ~ interpretation by other people.

–          Uniform – used to signify the role or function that a person performs; e.g: policemen, army, school children, etc.

–          Also signifiers of the rank and status of the person who wears them.

–          Have impact on the behaviour of both the wearer and those with whom they are in contact.

–          Provide sense of belonging- to show our allegiance to a group (subcultures such as hippies, rappers, punks, etc. or support our football team or army etc.)

–          Example of formal dress – business suit always dark shades?

–          Dress – one aspect of the physical appearance

–          Hairstyle, jewellery, make-up, body adornment and body modification.

2.  Voice (paralanguage)

–          How something is said is what is said.

–          Those utterances that we make when we are speaking

–          When we speak, we make noise that aren’t words (‘um’ or ‘ah’), we raise and lower voices, we pause, we stress some words.

–          Important aspect of the message when we are communicating

–          E.g: “The house is on fire” ~statement

–                   “The house is on fire!” ~ stressed

–          Voice intonation (pitch)- indicator of intention

–          Pitch~ the highness or loweness of the voice.

–          Volume~ the degree of loudness.

–          Silence ~ can communicate powerful messages, awkwardness and discomfirm others.

” How you play your voice “

 

3.   Space and distance (proxemics and environmental factors).

–          Refers to the space exists between us as we talk and relate each others and how we organize the space around us.

–          Environmental factors : elements of settings that affect how people feel and act. E.g. how people responds to colours, room design, temperature, sounds, smells and lighting.

–          We create for ourselves spaces that belong to us and to which we try carefully to control access.

–          Issue: how space is occupied is about how territory reflects the power relations within groups of people. The more powerful a person the larger and more impressive the space they will occupy

 

“the amount of space that people find comfortable between themselves and others”

 

Zone

distance

for

1. Close intimate

0-15cm
0-6in

lovers, and physical touching relationships

2. Intimate

15-45cm
6-18in

physical touching relationships

3. Personal

45-120cm
18in-4ft

family and close friends

4. Social- consultative

1.2-3.6m
4-12ft

non-touch interaction, social, business

5. Public

3.6m+
12ft+

no interaction, ignoring

4.      Colours (meaning and associations)        

  Colours communicates meanings, i.e. red (bravery, danger, etc), yellow ( royal colour, etc)

–          It affects us emotionally as well as physiologically – according to researches, red colour causes the increase in blood pressure, respiration rate and heartbeat.

5.    Time (chronemics)

–          How we use (or misuse) time to communicate.

–          People in different cultures structure or organize time differently – i.e. punctuality, allocation of certain activities to appropriate times.

6.    Touch (haptics)

–          Touch can be used to communicate affection, familiarity, sympathy and other emotions.

–          Touch reflect power, status, attitudes, and needs of the communicators.

–          Different cultures value touch differently Asian cultures promote very little touching behavior due to the norms and traditional customs.

         

Evaluating nonverbal signals

Eye contact

Is eye contact being made? If so, is it overly intense or just right?

Facial expression

What is their face showing? Is it masklike and unexpressive, or emotionally present and filled with interest?

Tone of voice

Does their voice project warmth, confidence, and interest, or is it strained and blocked?

Posture and gesture

Are their bodies relaxed or stiff and immobile? Are shoulders tense and raised, or slightly sloped?

Touch

Is there any physical contact? Is it appropriate to the situation? Does it make you feel uncomfortable?

Timing and pace

Is there an easy flow of information back and forth? Do nonverbal responses come too quickly or too slowly?

Sounds

Do you hear sounds that indicate caring or concern?

   

Non-verbal messages allow individuals to:

*  Reinforce or modify what is said in words. For example, people may nod their heads vigorously when saying “Yes” to emphasise that they agree with the other person, but a shrug of the shoulders and a sad expression when saying “I’m fine thanks,” may imply that things are not really fine at all!

*  Convey information about their emotional state.

*  Define or reinforce the relationship between people.

*  Provide feedback to the other person.

*  Regulate the flow of communication, for example by signalling to others that they have finished speaking or wish to say something.

REMEMBER THIS!!

*  When we interact with others, we continuously give and receive wordless signals. All of our nonverbal behaviors—the gestures we make, the way we sit, how fast or how loud we talk, how close we stand, how much eye contact we make—send strong messages. These messages don’t stop when you stop speaking either. Even when you’re silent, you’re still communicating nonverbally.

*  You may be familiar with advice on how to sit a certain way, steeple your fingers, or shake hands just so in order to appear confident or assert dominance. But the truth is that such tricks aren’t likely to work (unless you truly feel confident and in charge). That’s because you can’t control all of the signals you’re constantly sending off about what you’re really thinking and feeling. And the harder you try, the more unnatural your signals are likely to come across.

“Body language is the unconscious and conscious transmission and interpretation of feelings, attitudes, and moods, through:

  • body posture, movement, physical state, position and relationship to other bodies, objects and surroundings,
  • facial expression and eye movement,

(and this transmission and interpretation can be quite different to the spoken words).”

~ Alhamdulillah, praise to Allah. I got to finished it. Hope you enjoy read this. I hope it can help us in our communication skill especially in interpersonal skill. Develop it by the guidance above. This is just a little things I can do with the help of Allah. Thank you so much for read it and apply it. I wish I’m doing it and try our best, insyaAllah. Kindly refer to another sources for the best feedbacks. Jazakillahukhairan kathira, barakallahufik..~

 

“sometimes English make it easier to understand 🙂 ”

Happy learning!